The Way I Write

Except for this class, my creative writing is limited to my journal and the snail-mail letters I write to a few faithful friends. I will write almost anywhere, and since I usually have my journal with me wherever I go, I do. I occasinally do the romantic-tortured-writer-coffee-shop-latte gig, but I will also write in the bathroom, on the side of the road on my way to a party, in airports (I love writing in airports), in the morning when dreams are fresh, after dinner at the kitchen table, and especially before bed. (If I read half as much as I write in my journal I would be a much wiser woman). I won't, however, write without a uni-ball vision micro pen. Cheap bic ball-points and pencils simply won't do. I prefer black ink, but blue ink will do. If all I have is extra fine or fine pens I'll write, but only the bare minimum until I can find a more suitable tool. My journal hand writing is so sloppy the thick line makes it impossible to read. I like having tea while I write: Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer, with the tea bag left in so it becomes super strong or Twinings English breakfast, with the tea bag out and a splash of 2% milk and a splash of half and half. As I write I take time to sip my tea and read over what I have written so far.

Most of the letters I write I first draft, at least partially, in my journal. Most of the things I have written for this class I have also first sketched in my journal. (I have a lot of bloggs that are still in my journal and have yet to be typed out). I don't enjoy writing with a word processor as much. There is something so satisfying to me to see pages filled with hand written words. Less cheap, more genuine. I also think I go crazy tweaking things like punctuation in a word processor, whereas hand written it just is (or at least I am limited in the amount of correction I can make before things become completely illegible). I like that what I have writtin in my journal is more immediate. The sentences are shorter, more concise, less convoluted, more direct from my brain to the page.

On another note I want to mention that I have struggled with the writing for this class. I have fallen into a dangerously comfortable habit of only writing for myself. I don't worry about saying something just right, because if I feel I haven't, I ramble on until I get it right. No need to worry about editing and making every word count. No need to be self conscious about how an audience may read and interpret my words. No need to worry about sounding smart or original.

I also think that the more time we spend together the harder it is to write for the class. Remember the quote Josh threw out for us the first day of class: "I write for myself and for strangers."? We're no longer strangers, yet we still share our writing. I think peer review is great and very helpful and it's fun seeing other peoples' pieces and getting comments on my own writing. But I do think it changes the way I write. I thought Shana's Hi-Lo piece was great. She was able to venture outside herself and experiment with a different voice. I wish I could do the same, but I am finding it hard to experiment with something I am less familiar with; self-consciously fearing being 'wrong.' At the same time it's becoming harder to write in my own voice, for fear of exposing too much; it's harder to take risks, which I think is necessary to achieve truly great writing.